Saying goodbye to a small pet from far away: remote goodbyes for students
If you're away at college when your pet at home is dying, ask your family for a video call before the vet visit and to hold the burial or choose cremation so you can say goodbye properly later. Rats live only 1.5-3 years[1], so many students lose a pet they raised during a term away.
By the Rodent Cremation Services editorial team · Updated September 24, 2026 · 4 min read · Sources
- How to join a goodbye by video, kindly
- Ways to delay burial until you're home
- Grieving at college when nobody around you knew them
The short answer
How can you say goodbye to a pet when you're away from home?
Ask whoever is with your pet to set up a video call, before a vet appointment if euthanasia is planned or as soon as they can if your pet has died. Say what you want to say, even if it feels strange talking to a screen. Then ask your family to keep your pet cool and wait for you, or choose cremation so there's something to share when you're home.
Nothing about aftercare has to happen the same day. A small pet can be kept in the fridge for a couple of days, or frozen for longer before a burial. That gives you time to travel, or to arrange a goodbye at the weekend or during the next break.
Before or at the end
Can you join a pet's euthanasia by video call?
Many vets are happy for the family member in the room to hold a phone so you can talk to your pet, especially during the first calm stage while your pet is under anesthetic. Your family should ask when booking. For a hamster or rat, the whole visit is usually short, so plan the call for the first few minutes.
- Find a private spot on campus or in your room, with headphones if you'd like.
- Ask for the camera close to your pet so you can see their face.
- Talk normally. Many keepers believe familiar voices comfort small animals, and it certainly comforts the people.
- Decide beforehand whether you want to stay on the call for the injection or say goodbye first and hang up.
Our page on quality of life and saying goodbye explains what happens at the vet, which can make the call less frightening if you know what to expect.
Waiting for you
Can your family wait to bury your pet until you're home?
Yes. For a short wait, the body can stay in a sealed bag inside a lined box in the fridge for two or three days. For a longer wait, such as until the next holiday, freezing is common and perfectly acceptable if the plan is burial. Label the box clearly so nobody gets a shock.
If your family would rather not wait, cremation is a good compromise. A private cremation returns a small amount of ashes they can keep for you. A rat gives enough for a couple of keepsakes, while a hamster's ashes fit in a vial. You can then plant them in a pot together, scatter them somewhere meaningful or keep a share at college. Our rodent aftercare services explain both routes.
Splitting between homes
How can ashes be shared between family members in different places?
With a rodent, there isn't much to share, so plan it before filling anything. Glass keepsakes use only 1/8–1/2 tsp[2] of ashes, and many pendants hold a pinch. The ashes sharing planner shows how many pieces your pet's ashes can fill, so each person gets something.
Free tool
Ashes sharing planner
Split ashes fairly between family members, keepsake urns and jewelry.
If ashes need to be posted within the US, the US Postal Service requires cremated remains, including a pet's, to go by Priority Mail Express in a sealed, clearly labeled container. Check current rules before sending, and never post ashes internationally without confirming the destination country's requirements. For many students, it's simpler to collect them in person at the next visit.
Pets at college
What if your own rat or hamster dies in a dorm or rental?
If you keep small pets in student housing, you probably don't have a garden, and burying on campus or in a public park isn't allowed. Your options are usually a deep planter on a balcony (if your landlord agrees), taking your pet home in a cool box to bury, or cremation. Communal cremation is the lowest-cost choice and private costs more (the cremation cost calculator gives a range); see the guide to rodent aftercare costs.
Cost worries are normal, not just for students: 61%[3] of US owners in one study said aftercare cost concerned them. Ask a local exotics vet or a crematorium for the small-pet price, and look at our location pages for local rules and providers. The poll results show how other small-pet owners handled it.
How many hamsters, rats, mice or gerbils have you lost over the years?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Looking after yourself
How do you cope with pet grief when nobody around you knew them?
Grieving a pet far from home can feel lonely. Your roommates may not understand, and your family is grieving together without you. Many people hide it: in the RSPCA's pet-loss survey, 57.1%[4] felt they had to hide their grief, and only 13.4%[5] felt fully understood by those around them.
- Hold a small remote memorial. A video call where everyone shares a favorite story, at the same time as a burial at home.
- Make a digital memorial. A shared photo album or a post in a rat or hamster keepers' group.
- Talk to someone. University counseling services see pet grief regularly, and free lines such as Tufts' pet loss helpline[6] (508-839-7966) and Cornell's Pet Loss Support Hotline[7] welcome students.
- Tell a tutor if you need to. Many institutions accept bereavement as a reason for a short extension; the worst they can say is no.
Free support is worth knowing about before you pay for anything. By our estimate, an hour of private pet-loss counselling costs about as much as a basic private cremation, while several university and charity helplines cost nothing to call: in our comparison, CA$220 vs free[8]. Try your campus service or a helpline first.
Digital memorials are a growing way to grieve: one market forecast calls them the fastest-growing pet funeral segment, growing 13.83%[9] a year to 2030. Read more about why small-pet loss hits hard in our page on grief after losing a rodent.
Being far away doesn't make you any less their person.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
What was the hardest part of losing your pet?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
How many hamsters, rats, mice or gerbils have you lost over the years?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What helped you most in the first weeks?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Questions people ask
Is it weird to say goodbye to a hamster on a video call?
Not at all. It's increasingly common, and it gives you a chance to say what you need to. Ask the person with your pet to hold the phone close. Even if your pet can't see the screen, you'll have been part of the goodbye, which many people find helps later.
How long can my family keep my rat's body until I get home?
In the fridge, wrapped and boxed, around two to three days. In the freezer, much longer, which is fine if the plan is burial. If cremation is planned, your family should check with the crematorium before freezing, as some providers prefer to know in advance.
Can I take my pet's ashes back to college?
Yes. A small sealed vial or keepsake urn travels easily. If flying in the US, cremated remains are generally allowed in carry-on luggage if they can be screened, so choose a container that isn't lead-lined and carry the cremation certificate. Check your airline's rules first.
My pet died while I was away and I feel guilty. Is that normal?
Very normal. Many students feel they abandoned their pet by leaving, but your pet was cared for by people who love them, and small animals often decline quickly regardless. Talking to your family about your pet's last days usually helps more than replaying what you could have done.
Can I keep pet rats in student housing?
It depends entirely on your housing contract. Many dorms ban pets, while some private rentals allow small caged animals with permission. If you already keep rats, plan ahead for holidays and for aftercare, because you probably won't have a garden for burial.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] Pet rats live about 1.5-3 years and weigh 350-650 g as adults. Merck Veterinary Manual - Table: Rats at a Glance.
- [2] Ashes-in-glass pet memorials use only about 1/8 to 1/2 teaspoon of ashes. Funeral.com – Ashes in Glass for Pets, 2026.
- [3] 61% of US owners in the Cooney survey rated the cost of after-death body care as a concern (27.9% concerned, 33.1% very concerned). Cooney, Kogan, Brooks, Ellis - Pet Owners' Expectations for Pet End-of-Life Support and After-Death Body Care, Topics in Companion Animal Medicine (2020), 2020.
- [4] 57.1% felt they had to hide their grief after a pet died, and 57.8% perceive stigma around pet loss. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [5] Only 13.4% of bereaved pet owners felt fully understood by others. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [6] Tufts University's Pet Loss Support Helpline (508-839-7966) is free and volunteer-staffed, 6–9 pm ET Monday to Thursday, with 24-hour voicemail. Tufts Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine, 2026.
- [7] Cornell's free Pet Loss Support Hotline (607-218-7457) is staffed by veterinary students trained by professional grief counselors. Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, 2026.
- [8] A private pet-loss counselling hour (CA$220 in Calgary) costs about as much as a basic private cremation, while at least four university and charity lines in the US, UK and Australia/NZ are free to call. Our estimate: Count of free-to-call lines: Tufts, Cornell, Blue Cross, Pets and People (free call). How we calculate.
- [9] Digital memorials are the fastest-growing pet funeral service segment in Mordor Intelligence's forecast, at a 13.83% CAGR for 2025–2030. Mordor Intelligence — Pet Funeral Services Market report page, 2025.
Get aftercare options for your family's area
Tell us what you need and where you are. We'll reply by email with clear options and prices so you can decide in your own time.